Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction -- Foggy

Once again, party people, I'm trying something new.
What might that be?
Why, Five Sentence Fiction, but of course. 
Lillie McFerrin is the creative mastermind behind Five Sentence Fiction.
Here's a breakdown of what it's all about:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
Cool beans, right?!
I thought so.
Plus, the number five is involved,
there is no way I could possibly pass this up!
So, let's give this a go, shall we?
*rubs hands together*

The newest word is foggy.
The following is my humble first offering.
 

Shelby’s thoughts were sluggish, her body heavy, her senses dull. The sound of beeping poked at her, the air thick with the scent of ammonia. She felt the prick of a needle and tried to focus on the voices swarming above her. Her murky mind struggled to see beyond the haze, tried to grab onto something concrete. But the gloom rolled over her, wave after wave of mist, and she sank deeper into its embrace.

14 comments:

  1. Whoop whoop Ang! You hit the nail right on the proverbial head! Loved this...I had an op several years ago and disappearing into the anaesthetic was just like that...trying to focus but fading into sweet oblivion.
    So glad you've joined us!

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    1. I am too! Thanks for encouraging me. =)

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  2. Nice piece. Definitely got the groggy patient in the clutches of what ever was being pumped into her veins.

    Great effort. Welcome. A word of warning: addictive!

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    1. Why, thank you! And I can see how this might turn into an obsession. I will have to pace myself, no doubt.

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  3. Oh, there is nothing so terrible as the fog of anesthesia!! Wonderful entry!! Welcome to the Five Sentence Family!!

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    1. Aw shucks, lovely bullish, it's a beautiful lil family ya got here!

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  4. I have totally been there ... you captured it perfectly. The last sentence grabbed me thinking it may be something more and different than the obvious ... great job!

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    1. Wowzers! Thank you. For whatever reason, this was the first thing I thought of when I heard the word foggy. I think I've spent too much time in hospitals of late. =P

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  5. This week was my first Five Sentence Fiction too, I love what you've done here. I've never experienced anaesthetic but from what you've written I can see what it's like!

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    1. YAY we are Five Sentence Buddies! Yerp. And I'm so glad you enjoyed it, as I did yours!!

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  6. Great job capturing the imagery, the dichotomy of annoying intrusions and the deep grip of the fog! Nicely done!

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    1. Thank you. I'm just so glad everyone enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun writing, if not a bit trying to get all the elements incorporated. *hugs*

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  7. So very glad you joined in on FSF!! Well done capturing the feeling so clearly in such a short space. Awesome job :)

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  8. really liked the last line :)

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